Corwin's Musings of Vast Importance

Possibly In Bad Taste: Simon West’s All-CGI Iraq War Action Thriller ‘Thunder Run’

This is a weird one. Suggesting that eight years is, eh, an acceptable amount of time to wait until shamelessly cashing in on a war that’s claimed the lives of thousands of brave U.S. soldiers, killed over a hundred thousand innocent Iraqi civilians, and cost U.S. taxpayers literally trillions of dollars, “Con Air” and “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider” director Simon West is prepping “Thunder Run,” an all-CGI, 3D action thriller set in the opening days of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

“The goal is to appeal to the ‘Call of Duty’ world. It’s not going to have a video game world feel, but [will] have a stylized look to it,” admitted producer Brian Presley in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, thus betraying a callow insensitivity towards veterans and all others whose lives have been affected by this very real, non-stylized conflict, and the skewed priorities of a man who would put profit above patriotism.

Gerard Butler, Matthew McConaghey, and Sam Worthington will “star,” lending their voices and, perhaps, some motion-capture input. Which—good for them—but what’s the point of having Gerard Butler and Matthew McConaghey in your movie if you can’t show them shirtless?

Inertia

Just next door, but might as well be an ocean away. No courage to walk the fifty feet it’d take to bridge the gap. Instead will sit in a contemplative sadness, imagining the gaping spaces in life could be filled by you.

Runnin’ Runnin’

He’ll always run away, even if it takes him across oceans and continents. And she has no more energy to chase him. She’s just going to sit down and listen to music till he comes back around.

Remember George Clooney’s speech from “Up In The Air” about backpacks and the weight of all the pointless shit we fill our lives with? Like relationships, for example. Well, duh! Of course that shit is too heavy. But he’s probably got the wrong backpack, anyway. I think he held up a Jansport like a twelve-year-old schoolgirl or some shit. He needs an Osprey. Plus that relationship better be made out of titanium or balsa wood or fucking mythril or some shit. You don’t want to be carrying around a relationship unless that shit is ultra-light.

Profound words drip from my lips like shit from the ass of an incontinent dog.

My fingers smell like wood smoke. (And sweet corn, if sweet corn had a smell.) Crickets chirp incessantly outside. The slow drip of rain. I’m utterly exhausted. Today was a good day.

Racism!

Yes, “The Help” has finally overthrown those uppity “Apes,” and is now the number one movie at the box office. (If not  our hearts.) But as White America continues to endlessly congratulate itself on its largely imagined history of selfless magnanimity towards oppressed minorities, more sinister implications could be found further down on the box office charts. 

Sex Tip #1

If you hear a quacking noise coming from the chimney, pull out.

Crush

Mars was in love with Venus. Sadly, they traveled in different circles, and he found himself mostly watching her from afar. However, when she did come around, and they were closest, she absolutely lit up his sky. And for those few fleeting moments of synchronicity, when their orbits were aligned, Mars truly felt he could make Venus happy. Her beguiling smile twinkled, unfailing, and she laughed at all his jokes. And then she would twirl away, leaving Mars spinning in her wake. Drunk on hope. Yet, for all their yearning, for all their laughter, and despite everything they shared, they would always remain a world apart.